Posted by Steve
Time for Bill’s Scouting Report of the Week. This week it goes to Nats lefty John Lannan, seemingly the only decent pitcher on the team. Ahem…
Good Change. Actually a worthwhile point, which can only tell you the rest of this report must be a doozy.
Pitches In! Kind of another valid point, but the exclamation point kills me. What was the thought process behind adding the exclamation point? This, like most things, reminds me of Seinfeld—the episode where Elaine was adding exclamation points all over the magazine. “It was damp and chilly afternoon, so I decided to put on my sweatshirt!” Maybe it was just extra crucial. I’m imagining Skaalen in the locker room. “Ok guys… This Lannan kid. He’s a tough sonuvagun. Good lefty. Nice change-up. Most importantly, and I can’t stress this enough: HE PITCHES IN! KEEP ON YOUR GUARD! FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, HE PITCHES IN!!!11@!”
Road ERA. I admit I didn’t catch what Lannan’s exact Road ERA was, but after yesterday it was 2.4. So that’s basically implying that Lannan is good on the road. In other words, Bill’s scouting report on the opposing pitcher is: He’s good. So why is he good Bill? Should that, in fact, be the real scouting report? I mean, in addition to HE PITCHES IN!!! of course. We heard you the first time.