Posted by Steve
So I had ANOTHER Brewers dream last night. You might guess it was about that great game last night, but that’s way too logical. Here’s the shake-down:
I am at Wrigley Field. Hey, I’m on the field. All the Brewers players are around me. Cool, I have a uniform on too! OH MY GOD I PLAY FOR THE BREWERS!
It is this current season, so I’m guessing it’s the Cubs series in Wrigley that is coming up. I am, however, fully aware that this is my major league debut, so I guess I was a late September call-up. I also remember being promised that I would only play in ONE game, so naturally they chose the Cubs in late September to play their scrub rookie. I’m starting in left field today (no mention of why Braun is sitting). I don’t remember who pitched for the Crew, but Ted Lilly was definitely pitching for the Cubs.
We (I say we because I play for the Brewers in this dream, so back off) score nine runs in the top of the first inning. Nine runs, yet somehow I didn’t bat in the first inning. I guess mathematical impossibilities are possible in my dreams.
It’s a long bottom half of the first as well, as the Cubs rally back for seven runs. Halfway through the inning, though, the need to urinate strikes. It is becoming quite urgent, and when the inning finally ends I sprint back into the dugout. For some reason, I don’t use the clubhouse bathroom–Probably because I’ve never seen one, so I wouldn’t know where to go. I hurdle the railing and run up the stands to the public bathroom. Just before I get to the bathroom, I realize, ‘Crap, it’s almost my turn to hit!’ and turn right back around.
As I’m racing down the stands back to the field, I see Gabe Kapler in the batter’s box. NO NO KAPLER WASN’T STARTING WHY IS HE HITTING!?
When I get back to the field, someone says to me, “Steve man, where were you? You were leading off this inning, but we couldn’t find you so Ned had to pinch hit.”
Temporary interruption for some commentary. This is why my dreams scare me a little–because they seem so frickin’ real! I cannot describe to you in words the disappointment I felt when I was told I was pinch hit for. I was CRUSHED. When I was told I was out of the game, it felt like the worst news in the history of news–Even worse than it would be if this entire dream actually occurred in reality. Alright, back to the dream.
Anyway, so you get the idea: I am crushed. But do you want to know the best part? This is probably my favorite part of this otherwise unpleasant dream. My initial reaction, before anything else, was to say, “Aw man! And I even had the lefty-righty match-up with Lilly on the mound!” (If you don’t know, I’m a left-hander who inexplicably hits right-handed)
My second, more powerful reaction, was to pace the dugout, mumbling over and over, “Oh my God, I’m Moonlight Graham. I’m Moonlight Graham!” My third and final reaction was, “And I STILL have to pee!”
This is about where I woke up. Unlike some of my dreams, I realized pretty quickly that it was a dream and I was just in bed. I probably realized this quicker than normal because of my actual overwhelming need to urinate–undoubtedly the reason for that part of the dream. Man. So disappointing.